Fuck growing up
- Friends: Hey! Let's go do that thing you love and haven't done in a while and it'll be fantastic and you'll have the most fun you've ever had in your life and we'll make memories well never forget!
- Me: I can't, I have boring adult shit to do like pay my bills and apply to jobs so I can make enough money to get better things which will ultimately give me bigger bills until I'm up to my neck in debt and have to apply to higher paying jobs to start the cycle over again.
how your mom looks at you during parent teacher conferences
please do not be mean to dogs they are only trying to help
the police officer looks down at his tummy and says “you are under a vest” and giggles to himself